AM I EVER GOING TO FEEL LIKE I CAN AFFORD THINGS?

Existential questions I think about at 3am aside,

I’m joining a swimming pool tomorrow.

And I could not figure out how the frick I was going to pay for it. But then I realised the last time I switched my bank account was in April. And that’s way long ago. So I’ve ditched my old one. Which means before the year’s out I will have the money to pay for around 5 months of swimming membership. And when those sweet 5 months are up you’ll never guess what time it will be again…

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I enjoy that the banks are paying for me to frolick about in the water.

Here’s more deets if you would like to do the same*ᐞ

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*I want to reiterate again that I am in no way, shape or form being paid by the banks to write this, nor do I get kickbacks or does MSE give me free stuff or anything like that. It’s just something I think is great that i think more people should take advantage of.

ᐞFor my cousins across the pond, this is the best US based checking offers that i could come up with. Let me know if we like Nerdwallet or not, and I’ll alter my recommendation accordingly.

I get lonely sometimes

Not a companionship loneliness (unless I am away from home for too long).

But rather, a loneliness that reveals itself when I am with a large amount of people, in a large space, all of us watching the same thing.

Laughing at the same time.

Gasping.

Letting out breaths together.

The sudden jolt of a few hundred or thousand people feeling their feelings next to me, never fails to send shivers down my spine.
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I feel very separated from strangers right now. Day in, day out, I’m inundated by messaging that the greater human family pretty much despises each other and no one is getting along with anyone anymore. We are all estranged. Alone.

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So to be in a space filled with lots of people, appreciating the same thing, all at once, reminds me what it means to feel together, as one, with a mass. It breaks the spell of aloneness.

Now, I don’t go to church. I haven’t been to a sports match in years. But a few weeks ago a good mate of mine took me to the LFF’s Royal Festival Hall 2700 seat makeshift cinema to see Richard Linklater’s new film Blue Moon.

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Now, the film is a crackling meditation on the artist’s dilemma – high art vs. feelings. Do we aim to make complex things that make people question, or something simpler that appeals to the masses: Bergman vs. Spielberg. Radiohead vs. Sheeran, Adam Curtis vs. Love Island. And here we have Hart vs. Hammerstein II with Rogers in the middle. Over one night, Hart (Ethan Hawke on top form) forces himself to sit through the opening night party of his ex writing partner and rival’s enormous new hit, Oklahoma! The film shows how much pain, anguish and love sickness an artist will put himself through in order to fill a void.

I enjoyed the film. The film was good.

But the experience. Oh the experience of being in that cinema with over 2000 people there for the same thing, watching, listening, laughing. It was spine tingling. (Thanks Gio)

I was in a cinema in LA once, watching Rise of the Planet of the Apes, and there was a moment in that film (if you have seen it you will likely know the moment), and when this moment happened the audience erupted into spontaneous cheers and applause. I didn’t think we were allowed to do that. I’ll never forget it.

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Many years before, I was 16 and on a long flight back from Canada. This was during the days when in-flight films ran like terrestrial tv- if you were watching a film you were damn sure watching it at the same time as everyone else who was around you. It was the 2004 film Crash and there is a moment with a little girl (you know it) and when it happened, around 30 of us in the cabin, in sporadic seats, cried out at the same time. It scared the crap out of everyone else but I remember feeling a bond with these strangers. We were now a team. Team “holy shit what an incredible moment”.

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Filmsᓫᓫ are fucking magical.

And they are elevated by the audience you watch them with.

If you can go watch a film with lots of other people, do it as soon as you can.

It will remind you how far you are from alone.

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ᓫᓫTheatre – I so rarely feel this way in a Play. I pains me to say that most theatre I see is both overly long and overly boring for my short, addled attention span.

But the last time I had an experience similar to the ones above was when I went to see The Forsyth Saga. It was vital, alive and thrilling. It felt like we had all witnessed something special. After the curtain call, I turned to my stranger neighbour and blew out my cheeks.

“I know.” they replied.

And thank god – it’s going again. It’s at the RSC from 28th Nov to the 10th Jan.
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Rarely have I experienced an enlivening of this sort.

Book tickets. I implore you.

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(+ my great friend Florence Roberts (above) is in it and is sensational. She also made a film on no budget which we talked about a few months ago, check it out here.)

Let me know when you are going to RSC, if you have any wins this week or if you have any film recommendations – i love when you send me things.

You’re awesome. Have a great week.

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And if you are feeling lonely and need someone to talk to, please reach out – I’d really really really love to hear from you.

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